If your a mormon , you will understand this... If your not... you might catch some of it:D
Thought you needed a giggle:D The funniest jokes are the clean ones ! "A cheerful heart is good medicine" (Prov. 17:22)
Moses, Jesus, and an old man were playing a round of golf. Behind the green on the 8th hole was a fairly large pond. The three men had progressed to the 8th hole and Moses steps up and tees off first. His shot goes directly into the middle of the pond. Moses then walks up to the pond and parts the waters and chips in for an easy birdie. Jesus then tees off and also drives his shot into the pond. Jesus then walks on the water to where his ball lays and chips in for birdie. The old man then steps up and hits a towering shot that is heading for the pond. Just before the ball hits the water a fish jumps and swallows the ball. Out of nowhere an eagle flies in and grabs the fish with his talons and flies to the green and drops the fish onto the green. The fish then spits up the ball and it rolls into the hole for a hole-in-one. After observing this Jesus sighs, looks at Moses and says, "That is why I hate playing golf with Dad."
Jesus was teaching teaching people one day when the Pharisees brought a woman to Him and said, "... this woman was taken in adultery. Moses in the law commanded that such should be stoned what sayest thou?." Jesus then wrote in the stone and said, " He who is without sin, let him first cast a stone at her." Just then a stone fell from the sky and hit the woman in the head knocking her out. Then Jesus looked up and said, " Oh come on dad I was just trying to prove a point!"
After a hardy rainstorm filled all the potholes in the streets and alleys, a young mother watched her two little boys playing in the puddle through her kitchen window.The older of the two, a five year old lad, grabbed his sibling by the back of his head and shoved his face into the water hole.As the boy recovered and stood laughing and dripping, the mother runs to the yard in a panic.' Why on earth did you do that to your little brother?!' she asks as she shook the older boy in anger'We were just playing 'church' mommy, ' he said.'And I was just baptizing him.....in the name of the Father, the Son and in...the hole-he-goes.'
A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years before. Because of their hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minneapolis and flew to Florida on Friday, and his wife was flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel, and unlike years ago, there was a computer in his room, and he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without noticing his error, sent the email to the wrong address. Meanwhile...somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory after suffering a heart attack. The widow decided to check her mail, expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and then fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and then glanced up and saw the computer screen which read:
To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I have Arrived!
Dearest Love: I know you are surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now, and you are allowed to send email to your loved ones. I have just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow, and look forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was. PS: Sure is freaking hot down here…
I was testing the children in my Sunday school class to see if they understood the concept of getting to heaven. I asked them,'If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?''NO!' the children answered.'If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?' Again, the answer was, 'NO!'By now I was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!'Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?' I asked them again. Again, they all answered, 'NO!' I was just bursting with pride for them. 'Well,' I continued, 'then how can I get into Heaven?' A five-year-old boy shouted out, 'YOU GOTTA BE DEAD.'
A new bishop was visiting the homes in the ward. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote "Revelation 3:20" on the back of it and stuck it in the door. The following Sunday he found that his card had been returned under his office door. Added to it was this cryptic message, "Genesis 3:10." Reaching for his Bible to check out the verse, he broke up in gales of laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins "Behold, I stand at the door and knock." Genesis 3:10 reads, "I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked."
So give me comments! Tell me your story, just talk to me:D I will happily listen:D
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